17th August 2025
MAYDAY! MAYDAY! WE'RE GOING DOWN!
Five minutes earlier...
The silver blades sliced the air as they sped around. I stared out of the crystal clear window. The carpet of green, rippled beneath. The painted sky, splotched with white. It was strange how this slice of paradise was about to be dragged down to the fiery pits of hell. As we sped along the scenery, a storm was brewing in front. In less than a minute, the beautiful, blue sky was a dark grey. A giant, purple arrow shot at the ground, starting a small fire. As the storm got bigger and worse, we got closer and more horrified. “CRACK”
“What was that?” I exclaimed as the chopper jolted.
It was as if a fist had slammed right into the side. Fear crawled up my spine like a spider. Another jolt shook the chopper. A piece of blade flew past the window.
“Please tell me that wasn’t the one of the rotors” I whispered with worry.
Suddenly, a red light started flashing brightly, followed by a screaming siren.
“MAYDAY! MAYDAY! WE'RE GOING DOWN
My stomach dropped, just like the helicopter. Everyone screamed. My vision started going blurry. Then it all went black.
My eyes slowly opened. I was in the middle of a ring of fire. Pieces of helicopter were everywhere. I felt sick and dizzy as I pulled myself up. I looked around, trying to figure out where I was. There were giant trees, some burning, looming over me and lots dark , wet dirt on the ground. The sound of birds chirping in the scene reminded me of before. Before the crash. As I came to my senses, everything finally rushed back to me. A jungle. I was in a jungle…
Jordan! This writing is amazing to me! I enjoyed the description of the intro ''The silver blades sliced the air as they sped around. I stared out of the crystal clear window. The carpet of green, rippled beneath. The painted sky, splotched with white.'' it has some personification ''It was as if a fist had slammed right into the side.'' and an interesting story line to begin this short story with.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Matthew. My favorite thing was when you use all that onomatopoeia.
Deleteyeah jordan!
ReplyDeletea very exiting story i really likes the descriptive language "Fear crawled up my spine" "The carpet of green, rippled beneath" nice one
I agree with that mike. I liked all the descriptive language you put into this. Well done all that hard work really earned off
DeleteI agree with Robbie. The following was my favourite part as well. Awesome writing. E.g. I read through the message…..It was about a girl stranded on an island it was signed Holly Smith, 2015.
ReplyDeleteI dropped the letter I’m Holly Smith…
Wow Jordan that was Awesome the really like the descriptive language and how you drew in the reader at the start! E.G "Mayday Mayday! we're going down!
ReplyDeleteFive minutes earlier...
The silver blades sliced the air as they sped around.
That made me want to keep reading!