Wednesday 10 July 2013

Citadel - By Kate

The sun finally disappeared behind the rugged hills, like a golden eye shutting, and darkness fell over the city. The familiar calls of “CURFEW” rang through the cluttered streets and alleyways as clear as a bell and soon no one was to be seen in the medieval village.

I crept stealthily, picking my way across the crooked path. The moon was full and cast a white and grey illumination. The grimy brick walls were a dentist’s nightmare- almost as bad as the men’s teeth that worked there, and were full of decay and dirt. They were the victims of all the vile dust and dirt that blew through the narrow streets. The crooked paths ensnared villagers daily and they always presented a laborious challenge if you weren’t careful.

Throughout the town the wind whistled, tugging on the flags as it flew by. Amid the winds song was the sound of prehistoric wind chimes tinkling and in the distance was a slightly muted waterfall pounding into the conquered ground.

I scanned the court-yard carefully before darting, as fast as a hawk, across the leaf-littered cobblestone floor. The backstreets had a horse hay aroma but the courtyard had a fragrance of dying leaves and a musty smell you usually inhale around old soil. A small tree posed in the centre of the courtyard and when I flew past it waved goodbye.

Adjacent to the courtyard was an eerie tunnel which I crept through cautiously, as alert as a possum caught in a headlight. The stone tunnel was damp and water dripped from the charcoal ceiling. As I ran my hands along the clammy walls I could feel every bump in the rough stone and occasionally a mossy vine creeping up the wall almost as slyly as me.

The end of the tunnel brought me to the open and I inhaled fresh air, relief in my breath. As I bounded exhilaratingly down the uneven steps my arms lifted slightly like a bird ready to fly. My heart was pumping loudly at the thrill of being free and the sound of its beating filled my ears, but I did not escape to the exposed graveyard for freedom.

I strolled through the graveyard as purposefully as an eagle out to hunt, and I arrived at the gravestone within seconds. My hand burrowed into my cloak and withdrew a scarlet rose. I carefully laid it down at the base of the grave. A single tear rolled down my cheek.

6 comments:

  1. Super you put a smile on my face It was very enjoyable reading your fabulous story. Good use of language choices.

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  2. I really like your use of descriptive language like how you "I scanned the court-yard " scanned it not just looked at it


    Jack

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  3. This story is amazing, just reading the first sentence pulled me in. I really like how you said: I strolled through the graveyard it made it more interesting just adding strolled in made it better then just "I walked through the graveyard"

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  4. Hey Kate! This story was awesome! I thought that this sentence was a perfect example of descriptive language eg. 'The sun finally disappeared behind the rugged hills, like a golden eye shutting, and darkness fell over the city' Your story was really well thought through and really enjoyable!

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    1. I agree with Maia I really liked that sentence it was really descriptive and interesting.

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  5. I really liked the simile about the decayed teeth. You also created good suspense as I kept wondering what was going to happen next and why you were out when there was a curfew.

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