The clouds merge into shape, I spin into the light of the blinding sun. As
I look away i see lights of different colours flashing in the back of
my brain.I hear squeals of laughter. My feet slip across the lush green grass.
Bright flickering shadows emerge over the top of me as the balloon
dances onwards. Rainbows spring in the air. My hands snap back from the
trickling waterfall as a green slimy frog jumps out. The water floods
the undergrowth.
The ground rattles, I hear a rumbling in the distance. Twirling hurricanes
appear in the distance. The earth moves like a rollercoaster. I hear a
loud booming sound in the back of my head, I realise it is real even
though I am trying to imagining it . Spinning, swirling and rattling
back and forth, “take cover”. The ground crumbles before me, tiles whip
round me the last thing that I would expect is to find a new land for
myself.... But not for it to be destroyed in seconds.
People walking, heads slumped almost touching the ground. The atmosphere was depressing it was like a graveyard with
rickety gates. I’m trudging through the deep welche mud, tiles
scattered like a easter egg hunt. Tears sliding down my face marking it
with sorrow.
A bright light flashes like a shooting star. The trees and birds whisper
together making a humming sound. It goes black and the blue then white
and then all of a sudden my land appears, like somebody flashing a torch
in my face. I scream, no words could explain my emotions right now.
Only one thing I hadn’t been told about having a new land,....... it can never be destroyed......
Well done Caitlin,
ReplyDeleteI really liked all of the describing words that you put in there. E.g: Twirling hurricanes, green slimy frog and trickling waterfall.
You also used a lot of metaphors and similes like:
Rainbows spring in the air, bright light flashes like a shooting star, earth moves like a roller coaster and tiles
scattered like a Easter egg hunt.
I really enjoyed your story and I hope to read a lot more like it!
Hey Caitlin I really like how you described the scene and the hurricanes as well and I also like how you described what was happening like the ground rattling. This is awesome work, keep it up.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIncredible writing Caitlin! And I'm not only saying that because this is our Homework! The way you immediately brought the scene into life was really cool! E.g : "Rainbows spring in the air, earth moves like a roller coaster " It was awesome!
ReplyDeleteI love this story Caitlin! It's so descriptive and I love all the language features :) eg: "The clouds merge into shape, I spin into the light of the blinding sun." I really enjoyed reading this story! :D
ReplyDeleteBonjour Caitlin! Your story was super descriptive and I thought that you used of language features (metaphors, similes, personification, etc). Some examples of these are;
ReplyDelete"the balloon dances onwards", " Rainbows spring in the air", " The atmosphere was depressing it was like a graveyard with rickety gates".
Nice Caitlin. I love how you set the scene really well e.g The clouds merge into shape, I spin into the light of the blinding sun
ReplyDeletewell done Caitlin I like how you set the scene really well and I like how you put lots of similes metormors and lots of other stuff. i also liked the part when you said"Rainbows spring in the air, earth moves like a roller coaster
ReplyDeleteCaitlin :)
ReplyDeleteI like how you started your story "The clouds merge into shape". and the part were you said "The ground rattles, I hear a rumbling in the distance. Twirling hurricanes
appear in the distance" I love this story because there is alot of detail and you set the scene really well.
Great Job!!