Saturday 19 October 2013

Was It All Real? - By Lily

The sun beat down as I stared up at the clear, blue sky, The summer breeze danced through the flowers causing them to sway. I rolled around on the grass having the time of my life. As the end of the day drew near, the sunset covered the blue sky like a bright orange blanket. I had one last look at the field staring up at the trees while they whispered together. I ran swinging open the old creaking gate. The village was deserted, everyone inside savouring their warm and filling dinners.

I forced my door open and the fragrance of delicious food flew into my face flinging my soft jacket on the ground I lumbered into the kitchen where my mum was scrambling around getting our dinner ready.

“Hi sweetie” she chirped happily.

“Hey” I hastily answered as I rushed up to my bedroom. tossing myself onto my bed I lay still, resting my sleepy eyes until I heard the clink of the plates on the table. My stomach complained and grumbled in hunger. I walked down the stairs, my shoes squeaking every time I took a step. I sat comfortably in my seat and smacked my lips. The pot of hot bubbling soup sat before me, steam floating up and tapping the ceiling. I clutched the ladle, gripping a huge spoonful of soup and dumped it in my bowl, my mum smiling sweetly at my appetite. My lips beckoned the spoon as the soup slipped down my throat warming me up. The soup was all gone in minutes, seconds even. I slowly strolled up to my room and relaxed on my bed breathings in the nice cool scent of the tulip bunch my mum had laid in my room.

A little stream of sunlight emerged out of my curtains, relaxing gently on my face. I absorbed the warmth and My eyes drooped gradually and fell asleep...

I rouse suddenly with a crick in my neck. A bleak wall stares back at me.

Clicks of guns echo, reverberating off the walls.

Missiles spiral overhead.

Buildings crumble around me.

Air air raid siren sounds with an ear-splitting scream.

A tear formed in my bleary eye.

I wish I was back in the dream.


The End.

9 comments:

  1. Lily! Your story is great! I especially liked your use of descriptive language eg.'Clicks of guns echo, reverberating off the walls.'
    Awesome story!

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  2. Wow that is an amazing story lily. My favourite part was at the end when it just suddenly ended with "I wish I was back in the dream." I also liked all the description spread throughout the story. Great Job.

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  3. wow great story lilly I really like your describing words e.g I heard clink of plates on the table.My stomach complained and grumbled in hunger.
    great story

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  4. WOW Lily! Your story really was amazing! It really helped me picture the scene. E.g The sun beat down as I stared up at the clear, blue sky, The summer breeze danced through the flowers causing them to sway.
    Also that end bit sounded really dramatic and emotional so well done!

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  5. Man Lily this work is great I loved the part e.g The sun beat down as I stared up at the clear. That was really good makes the reader want to keep on reading and also the part e.g I rouse suddenly with a crick in my neck. A bleak wall stares back at me. That really builds up tension on whats going to happen.

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  6. Wow that was a great story Lily. You had really good Description. It had a great finish with "I wish I was back in the dream." All round great story. Well done Lily.

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  7. I agree Thorndon it was a great story and I loved the ending keep it up lily

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  8. Wow great story it really made you think which made the idea of your story really clever. My favourite part was e.g.:The summer breeze danced through the flowers causing them to sway amazing how did you come up with sentence. This story was beautifully creative well done. I really agree with what Emma had to say as I have to agree.

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